LOLguinea pig and a cucumber

It seems that my LOLguinea pigs have been really popular, so I've decided to post more. This is based on the picture of the walrus with his bucket that's being stolen by a zookeeper. He isn't quite a LOLcat but he's hilarious all the same. This guinea pig image was taken from www.scx.hu, so it's free for use. This type of guinea pig is called Himalayan, by the way. They're like Siamese cats!

Ponybuilder.com

I found the best site ever. Ponybuilder! It's made by some California company that sells Mustang body mods. But you don't have to buy anything or go through complicated procedures to see the builder. It's a very simple, user-friendly website, and you'll love it. Firstly, you pick which kind of Mustang you want: Coupe or Convertible. Then you can pick its color, lower or raise the body. But the side menu is the best. You can fit the car with an impressive variety of body kits, fascias, scoops, spoilers, hoods... pretty much everything. And as I said, each category has such a variety! This is such a fun site to play with.

Once you are done, you can click a link and it will tell you just how much all of these modifications cost. I was expecting them to be much more, but they are actually not. My total was a bargain $3,577.25.

How to NOT look like a tourist

This is a very important skill. Why exactly do you not want to look like a tourist? The word tourist carries connotations of mild ignorance and delight in every single thing. It lacks an air of sophistication. So, what do you call someone who isn't a local but isn't a tourist? A jetsetter. Let's all be jetsetters, guys. Living in the capital of the United States has given me ample opportunity to observe tourists, and I have compiled a list of how to avoid looking like one.

Disclaimer: This only works for Americans traveling within the US, or Europeans traveling within their own country. Good luck trying to pass yourself off as a local on another continent. It's very difficult and you WILL fail.

1. Of course it's necessary to have guide books and maps. Don't think that you should forego these in your attempt to avoid looking like a tourist. These are helpful aids that will come in handy if you get lost or are looking for a good place to eat or stay. Definitely, don't leave the house without them. BUT. Do not open them in the middle of the street, or another conspicuous place, and make sure they are hidden in your bag or glove compartment when they are not in use. Carrying a guide book is a dead giveaway.

2. Layering is a very touristy thing to do, because tourists are always unsure of weather conditions and like to be prepared for anything. It is a good practice to keep a jacket if you are going somewhere chilly, and to carry an umbrella if there might be rain. However, typing sweatshirts around your waist is very unglamorous. A pocket-sized umbrella will serve you well in being inconspicuous. Also, avoid brightly colored raincoats. These, for not apparent reason, are particularly touristy.

3. Rent a car from a local company. Most of the time, it is locals that go about town in cars, and of course, they have local license plates. Rental car companies will also have local license plates, and the sticker from the rental company is usually small and not very noticeable.

4. Walk briskly and purposefully down streets. Strolling and looking at every building around you, especially during commuting times, is irritating; you will get in the way of commuters in a hurry. Yes, you should observe the architecture, but don't linger and soak in every detail unless it is some monument. In DC, every single federal building is a work of art. That doesn't mean they need half an hour each to pore over.

5. Fanny packs are to be avoided at all costs, regardless of whether you are a tourist or a local. Only tourists will want to have everything in easy reach. Sunglasses should not be kept on top of your head or looped on your shirt collar. The latter is acceptable for men because it is inadvisable to keep sunglasses in your pocket. When not in use, they should be out of sight.

6. For women: carry small purses and wear heels. Big purses are made to carry every single thing that a tourist might carry, like sourvenirs, water bottles, a sweater, books, etc. Get a small and stretchy bag, or a tote. Backpacks are no good... have you ever seen a local using a backpack to carry stuff? Heels are good because tourists do a lot of walking, which heels are not good for. If you have sensitive feet, then you might want to wear flats. But as long as they are rather nice shoes, they'll do.

7. The camera, the camera. This is a very much situational issue. Firstly, digital SLRs. Keeping them around your neck and snapping pictures of everything is touristy. Setting up a tripod and staying in the same place for an hour is not. The former goes for digital cameras as well. Keep in mind that taking out out your digicam quickly, snapping a photo, then replacing the camera hastily is acceptable. Even locals might want to capture something interesting on camera. The corollary to this is if you are holding up some commuters on the sidewalk or something equally idiotic.

The Cadbury's Travesty

Cadbury's chocolate in America is not from Britain. I feel cheated. I want good British chocolate. Instead, I get Hershey's' cheap imitation of Cadbury's. They make it here, in their Hershey factory, and it ends up tasting like Hershey's chocolate. I dislike Hershey's chocolate. It is far too grainy and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. But when I went to India, I got some good Indian chocolate. They actually use a different formula there so it doesn't melt as readily in the intense heat. This change in formula does not change the taste at all. Perhaps it's just a bit creamier and it has an incredible ability to gum your teeth together. This provides an excellent way to shut someone up while appearing to be kind. If they keep nattering on about some stupid subject, politely offer them a good hunk of Cadbury's chocolate that they can't refuse, then watch in delight as their teeth get gummed up, and then RUN.

Dairy Milk is heaven.

Eleanor & Matte Black

You know what's a hot car? Look at this car. Okay, so maybe it's a little old. It's a '90s Mustang body, after all. But I still think its hot, as I do most Mustangs.
But you know what's even better? It turns out that this Eleanor body kit is sort of a new version of the original. The original came out with the '70s fastback Mustangs. It looks just as incredibly sexy. The new Mustang seems a bit punched up in comparison; stockier, but they both have "big noses." Here's the older Eleanor:
It seems more streamlined. The dark silver and black racing stripes seem to be an Eleanor thing. I definitely like it a lot. But if I were to design my own paint job, I think I'd go for matte black with glossy red stripes. Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm obsessed with matte black. It's a lovely color and totally underappreciated. When you paint a streamlined car with it, it ends up looking like a stealth jet. It also feels nice, not smooth like glossy paint, but sort of rougher, though not so much that it is unpleasant to touch. It's sophisticated. Unfortunately, I have a lot of trouble finding pictures of matte black sportscars on Google. Here's one of the only ones.
I don't really like the car much, because as a Mustang lover, I am in favor of the big, muscled, boxy look as opposed to the über-flatness. The paint job is fantastic though. Neon orange? Strange, but it works.

Miscellaneous Music Musings, pt. II

Awesome, man. I'm going to review more awesome music for you, as I listen to it, for the best quality review. Over coming weeks, I might go for genre reviews. I listen to many different genres.

1. "Dragula" by Rob Zombie
This really has to be one of the best metal songs ever. It's got this catchy beat (well, for metal, anyway) and sounds pretty much well, awesome. It's got smashing guitars mixed in with some techno sounding stuff, and the chorus is delightfully RAWR. Rob Zombie has a drill sergeant voice. If you are a metal fan, you'll definitely want to check it out. A techno remix was on the Matrix soundtrack, but I don't like it as much because for some reason I feel the remix removes some of its intensity.

2. "Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence
Okay, guys, it looks like I'm on a metal roll here. This song is also fantastic, once you can get over the singer's oddly high pitched voice (don't worry, it isn't like that for the entire song.) There's the characteristic pounding, grating guitarwork, mixed in with some trancey synth work. It's a very fluid song and moves along well with its quick pace. Metal and techno is a fantastic combination. The chorus is the best part, but I do like the line, "I like my coffee black just like my metal."

3. "Wednesday the Third" by Saves The Day
This is definitely not metal and is more slower (but not boring) than the first two. The vocals just sort of seem to flow along and the intricate guitarwork is a nice touch. But what I really like is how the vocals undulate and don't seem to pause for too long. I'd classify this perhaps as emo or post-hardcore. Post-hardcore definitely doesn't necessarily involve screaming, guys. In fact, I believe it's a more delicate version of hardcore and any screaming would relegate said song to the hardcore genre.

Miscellaneous Music Musings, pt. I

I'm been listening to some random music from my favorites list, so I'll rate it as I go.

1. "Sunburn" by Muse
A beautiful song, period. Probably one of the most beautiful I have ever heard. The undulating piano at the beginning is sublime in a backdrop of percussion, and when it gets combined with the pinging guitar, it just gets better. The lead singer Matthew Bellamy's vocals are in an undulating fashion as well, as is the style of Muse, and the whole song is just so harmonic. I could listen to it forever, over and over again.

2. "Cochise" by Audioslave
In all honesty, I was disappointed to realize that Audioslave is just Rage Against The Machine with a new singer. Chris Cornell's voice is amazing, but Audioslave as a whole is like a tamed version of Rage. "Cochise" features Tom Morello's beastly guitarwork, a Rage signature, but Audioslave's other songs seem fit for the radio. This song, however, it quite nice. I recommend it for Rage fans who have overplayed all of their Rage tracks.

3. "For The Workforce, Drowning" by Thursday
You will probably hear a lot about Thursday as they are my favorite band. This song was on a Vans Warped Tour compilation (2004, I think) and is definitely one of Thursday's best songs. Their signature lovely lyrics, written by the brilliant Geoff Rickly, are present as are a classic element of post-hardcore: complex riffs, and many of them. I don't know why I like Thursday more than other post-hardcore bands though. Perhaps it is because their songs are softer (well, sometimes) and more complex. And those lyrics. They're amazing. I urge you to look at them now. They're really like poetry.